A baby pulls hair first and foremost to explore: before age 1, they are discovering that an action produces an effect, and a lock of hair is easy to grab. Between 1 and 3, the gesture more often expresses an emotion they cannot yet put into words. This behaviour is common and usually fades from around age 3, provided you respond calmly and consistently.
There is another situation too: the toddler who twirls or pulls their own hair to fall asleep. This soothing habit is different, and it has its own reference points.
Why babies pull hair before age 1
Naître et grandir, a Quebec website reviewed by early childhood professionals, puts it simply: a baby may pull someone’s hair, bite or throw objects “just to explore”. There is no intention to hurt.
The Raising Children Network, a government-funded Australian parenting service, explains that between 6 and 12 months these actions help babies understand cause and effect. They pull, someone shouts or laughs, and they do it again to see whether the same thing happens.
Grasping plays a part too. At around 6 months, babies deliberately grab whatever comes within reach, and the pincer grip between thumb and index finger becomes more precise at around 9 months. Our article on how babies learn to grasp goes through these stages. Long hair, earrings or a necklace then become favourite targets.
Why toddlers pull hair between 1 and 3
After age 1, the gesture takes on a different meaning. According to Naître et grandir, shouting, biting, hitting or pushing are often a child’s way of expressing a need or an emotion. Impulsiveness and a lack of self-control are the most common cause.
The Raising Children Network lists several triggers:
- excitement, anger, sadness or pain;
- tiredness or hunger;
- feeling overwhelmed in a noisy or very busy place;
- needing to burn off energy;
- copying another child, or having had the same thing done to them.
Between 2 and 3, Naître et grandir notes that children may be aggressive with other children, for example by biting, hitting or pulling hair. This behaviour generally starts to decrease from age 3, as language and self-control develop.
Baby pulls hair: how should you react in the moment?
The response comes down to three steps: say no clearly, remove the hand, then move away for a brief moment. It should be the same every time, without anger or laughter.
With a baby under 1
- Say a short, calm “no” while looking at your baby.
- Gently loosen their fingers rather than pulling away, which would hurt more.
- Turn away for a moment, or put them down somewhere safe.
- If they do it again, respond in exactly the same way.
The Raising Children Network stresses this consistency: it is the repetition of an identical response that helps babies understand the rule. A burst of laughter, even a nervous one, turns the gesture into a game.
With a child aged 1 to 3
For a toddler, a clear verbal response matters. Naître et grandir recommends first comforting the child who was hurt, then explaining the consequences of the action. You can help your child say what they are feeling and teach them to say “No, that hurts”.
- Name the emotion: “You’re cross because he took your lorry.”
- Suggest something else to do: hit a cushion, squeeze a comforter, come and find a grown-up.
- Involve them in making amends: a cuddle, a toy given back, a kind word.
- Avoid pulling their hair “so they understand”: what a child mainly learns is that the gesture is allowed for bigger people.
These steps are similar to those that help with biting. Our article on babies who bite sets out the same approach, and the one on emotional regulation before age 3 explains how it develops.
Prevention rather than punishment
Many of these gestures can be prevented by noticing when they happen.
- Tie long hair back when you carry your baby or play with them on the floor.
- Give them something to grip: a rattle, a soft ring, a piece of fabric to knot.
- Anticipate tiredness and hunger, which often lie behind rough gestures at the end of the day.
- Stay close when children play together, especially in a large group.
- Praise gentle gestures: a stroke on the head deserves to be noticed.
Toddlers also learn by watching. As our article on imitation in babies explains, the way adults handle their own anger counts as much as any instructions.
When a baby pulls their own hair to fall asleep
Some babies twirl a lock of hair, stroke it or pull it gently as they drift off. For the Child Mind Institute, an American centre specialising in children’s mental health, this is most often a self-soothing behaviour. It is harmless as long as the child is not pulling hair out.
KidsHealth, the information service of the Nemours children’s health foundation, notes that many children who twirl or pull their hair stop as they grow older. The gesture then plays the same role as a comforter, or transitional object: it helps them move from wakefulness to sleep.
The Raising Children Network suggests that if a child combines two habits, such as thumb-sucking and hair pulling, you work on only one of them. Often, the second fades along with the first. Offering a long-haired soft toy or a muslin to fiddle with can also distract the hand.
Does trichotillomania affect babies?
Very rarely. Trichotillomania is an irresistible urge to pull out one’s hair. The UK’s NHS states that it usually begins between the ages of 10 and 13, while the Child Mind Institute puts it rather between 7 and 12. In a baby who plays with their hair, this diagnosis is unlikely.
When should you seek advice?
Speak to your GP, the PMI (France’s mother and child health service) or a paediatrician in these situations:
- bald patches appear on your child’s head;
- your child swallows the hair they pull out, which the Child Mind Institute considers a concern;
- the habit comes with signs of anxiety, sleep problems or withdrawal;
- aggressive gestures towards others persist after age 3 despite a consistent response;
- you feel overwhelmed by your child’s reactions.
Naître et grandir points out that it is important to get help as soon as a parent feels overwhelmed. There is no need to wait for the behaviour to get worse. If your child pulls other children’s hair at nursery, talk to the staff: stepping in yourself with the other child or their parents is not advisable.
Key takeaways
- Before age 1, pulling hair is a form of exploration, with no intention to hurt.
- Between 1 and 3, the gesture most often expresses an emotion or an impulse.
- The effective response is brief, calm and the same every time.
- Playing with their own hair to fall asleep is a common soothing habit.
- Bald patches or swallowed hair are a reason to see a doctor.
If rough gestures become more frequent at around 2, our article on tantrums at age 2 helps you spot what sets them off.
Sources
- Naître et grandir, “L'enfant agressif : comment intervenir”, scientific review by Céline Blanc, psychoeducator, updated December 2023.
- Raising Children Network (Australia), “Biting, pinching and hair-pulling: why babies and toddlers do it” and “Children's habits”, accessed 05/11/2026.
- Child Mind Institute, Jerry Bubrick, PhD, “My 11-month-old likes to play with her hair, and even pulls it. Is this trichotillomania?”, updated 24/01/2025.
- Nemours KidsHealth, “Your Child's Habits”, reviewed by KidsHealth medical experts.
- NHS, “Trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder)”, reviewed 05/02/2024.
