Babies start giving kisses most often between 12 and 18 months, after months of smiles, gazes and outstretched arms. The developmental milestones published by the US CDC place showing affection through cuddles or kisses at 15 months. Before that age, the first ‘kisses’ often look like a wide-open mouth planted on your cheek, and that’s perfectly normal.
This gesture doesn’t come out of nowhere. It is part of a bond that builds slowly, starting in the very first weeks. Here are the stages, how to encourage it without forcing it, and the hygiene precaution to know about with a newborn.
Baby kisses: at what age?
There is no exact date, but there is a fairly consistent order. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) publish milestones describing what most children do at a given age.
At 15 months, these milestones state that a child shows affection by hugging, cuddling or kissing. At the same age, they hug a soft toy or a doll and clap when they’re happy.
In practice, many children imitate a kiss at around 10 or 12 months, especially when an adult asks for one playfully. The spontaneous kiss, given of their own accord at the right moment, more often appears between 12 and 18 months. These ranges are only a guide and vary a lot from one child to another.
Before the first kiss: the stages of affection
The kiss is the visible outcome of a bond that has been growing since birth. Several more subtle signs come before it.
Smiles and eye contact
Smiling at a familiar person appears in the first few months. It is your baby’s first way of responding to the tenderness they receive. We cover this stage in detail in our article on your baby’s social smile.
Raised arms and reacting when you leave
At around 9 months, according to the same CDC milestones, a child lifts their arms to be picked up. They also react when you leave: they look at you, reach out to you or cry. These reactions show that they clearly recognise the people who matter to them.
Shared gestures
Between 9 and 15 months come social gestures: waving bye-bye, clapping, pointing. Kissing belongs to this family of gestures learnt by watching adults. We describe the best known of them in our article on when babies start clapping their hands.
Why do their first kisses feel like a bite?
Because babies copy what they see with the means they have. Your baby has understood that a kiss involves the mouth and lands on the face. They can’t yet close their lips and control the pressure.
The result is often a wide-open, wet mouth, sometimes with a little nip of the teeth. It isn’t aggression, nor a lack of affection. It is an imitation that is still a bit rough around the edges.
At this age, the mouth is also still a tool for exploring. Children discover objects and faces by bringing them to their lips, as we explain in our article on babies who put everything in their mouth. The precise, closed-lip kiss becomes more refined over the months.
How can you encourage kisses without imposing them?
Kissing is learnt mainly by example. A child who receives affection ends up giving it back, in their own way and at their own pace.
- Give them kisses and name them: “a kiss on the cheek”, “a kiss on the hand”.
- Play at kissing a soft toy, then invite them to do the same.
- Welcome their clumsy versions warmly, without correcting them.
- Suggest other ways of showing affection: a cuddle, a ‘blown kiss’, a nose rub.
This process of learning through observation is explained in our article on imitation in babies.
Never force a kiss
Sometimes a child refuses to kiss a grandparent or an adult they don’t know well. It’s best not to insist. Respecting this refusal teaches them that their body belongs to them and that affection can’t be demanded.
Offering an alternative is often enough: waving hello, giving a smile, a high five. This advice reflects common parenting practice; it doesn’t come from an official recommendation. It does, however, echo the widely shared idea of an attachment based on security rather than obligation.
Should you let everyone kiss a newborn?
No, and this precaution matters most in the first few weeks. The UK’s National Health Service (NHS) points out that the herpes virus can be passed to a baby through a kiss from someone who has a cold sore.
According to the NHS, the risk of infection is highest in the first six weeks of life. Its recommendations are simple.
- Anyone who has a cold sore, or has had one recently, should not kiss the baby.
- It’s best to limit kisses to the close family members who look after the baby.
- If a kiss is given, the top of the head is the safest place. Avoid the mouth, nose and eyes.
The NHS advises contacting a doctor urgently if the baby is irritable, is not feeding well or has a temperature of 38 °C or above. The same applies if there are sores on the skin, eyes or mouth. Unusual drowsiness, difficulty breathing or a seizure mean you should call the emergency services.
This rule can be tricky to enforce during visits. Our tips for organising them are in our article on visits after the birth.
What if they don’t give kisses yet?
A child can be very attached without giving kisses. Some prefer cuddles, others eye contact, others still a gesture of their own. Temperament counts as much as age.
What matters is the overall picture: does your child look at you, smile when you come back, seek contact when they need reassurance? If these signs are there, not kissing at 15 or 18 months is nothing to worry about in itself.
The CDC does, however, recommend talking to a doctor if a child loses skills they once had. Advice is also worthwhile if eye contact, smiles and shared gestures remain rare. This isn’t a diagnosis, but an invitation to observe things together with a professional.
A secure bond, more than outward displays, is what counts for development. We explain this in our article on secure attachment from 0 to 3 years.
Key takeaways
- Babies most often start giving kisses between 12 and 18 months; the CDC milestones place showing affection through cuddles and kisses at 15 months.
- The first open-mouthed kisses are an imitation that is still clumsy.
- Encourage kisses through example and play, without ever forcing one.
- With a newborn, no kisses from anyone with a cold sore, and preferably on the top of the head.
- A child can be very attached without giving kisses: it’s the overall set of signs that counts.
Sources
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “Milestones by 9 Months” and “Milestones by 15 Months”, Learn the Signs. Act Early. programme, pages reviewed on 16 May 2026.
- National Health Service (NHS), “Neonatal herpes”, page reviewed on 24 July 2025.
